More tranny stories later!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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