OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
