So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
