I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am naked and annoyed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
