i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
