Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
