I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
