Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize