he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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