covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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