You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
