I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
youre lurking in front of me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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