Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
