I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
