I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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