id be glad to
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize