I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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