Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
