update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize