It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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