WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
