hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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