i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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