Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
