Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
