I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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