yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
