At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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