I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
