areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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