there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
