y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
