I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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