Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
