im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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