I wish I only lived at night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We are two peas in an std pod
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
