Do you still have your period?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
