Your tits are I can't wait for
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
