so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
