why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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