guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
