so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
