I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
