So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
