check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
