Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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