I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
