I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
