I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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