his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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