in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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