I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I am one with the molecules
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
