YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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