it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
