thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
