i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
