I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
40s are totally the cure
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
