he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
