I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize