exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
