Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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