Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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