Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
