I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
