Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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