I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
